Skip to content

Musings of Crista Dawn Posts

The Seesaw of MotherhoodSeesaw - with plus and minus

The Seesaw of Motherhood

This past week has been a rough one with the push and pull of life creating exhaustion.

  • Do I work on the work project or the house project?
  • Which thing do I pay for or which do I finance?
  • Do I stay in and cuddle my kiddo or do I go out with friends?
  • Which room do I clean first?
  • Do I ignore the pain in my body or make a doctor’s appointment I don’t have time for?

The decisions sometimes become paralyzing in themselves as we navigate more than our share of mental, emotional, and physical load. It is a daily seesaw of emotions and choices. Hence, today I share with you the musings of “Contradictions” – something we all deal with, but mothers have some special advice contradictions that society places on us.

Contradictions

Do more in life, change the world, make a mark
Stop trying to do too much, smell the roses

Work hard, be your best, strive to be better
Don’t be a perfectionist, do what you can

Early bird gets the worm, don’t delay
Burn the candle at both ends, exhaustion

Princesses, lovely, femininity
Equality, sameness, feminism

Highly sexualized, always be interested
Mamas are not sexy, never be interested

Make more money, don’t be poor, prosperity
Money doesn’t buy happiness, be content

Have the latest toys, buy more, stimulate
Have less stuff, throw things away, simply

Feed them, whatever they will eat, convenience
Food allergies, restrictions, only healthy

No GMOs, no processed, only organic
Restaurant frenzy, eat what tastes right

Full calendar, keep the pace, go go go
Think, write, breathe, remember, solitude

Introduce music, art, sports, well-rounded kids
Don’t over-plan, free and imaginative play

Share your feelings, rely on each other
Dependency is weak, counseling for suckers

Honesty is the best policy, authentic
Truth hurts, sugar coat, keep a smile

Guilt is a permanent state of being
Endless choices, and too many judges

Contradictions, discrepancies in advice
Just be brilliant, comfortable in your skin

Faking It Until I Make ItTypewriter

Faking It Until I Make It

The internet is full of imposters, in fact, at this point, it may have more fraudulent than authentic voices.  Artificial Intelligence is now in the mix, writing poetry, taking up words, devoid of context, but stringing together syntaxes that sound real.  As I once again picked up my writing mantle after having let the depression and situational drama steal my voice, I found that I was less confident in my ability to cohesively share my thoughts.

So I’m stumbling along a bit, but I’m here. Ready to bring you all along in a way that can provide healing for those who need it.

Faking

The Internet is full of how long I should write
How I should write
The right ways to write my words
There are names for it
It isn’t poetry, it isn’t prose, it is in-between

I like being undefined
I like being the unusual
I like being the different
I like being the weird

Except when that means I’m alone
Because no one understands me
I don’t follow the rules in my heart
No one knows how I break them
I’m good at faking it

I’d like to be brilliant
I’d like to be heard
I’d like to be seen
I’d like to be known

Except when I just want to crawl in a hole
Because the world is too much
I don’t follow the rules in my heart
No one knows how I break them
I’m good at faking it

Launching… Me

Launching… Me

For nearly half a century, Me has been trying to bloom. The growth has been full of fits and starts, seasons of beauty, and seasons of drought. 

But one thing has been consistent: the bloom was always done with someone else’s approval, permission, or rather more often than not, the disapproval and lack of support.  Me was trying to please others, saying the things they wanted to hear, taking care of their needs, and putting them all first.

Played lip service to the “mask on first” philosophy in marriage, in motherhood, in family, and in work life.  But never actually took care of Me first. Until the universe said, “enough” – and literally had to stop to breathe.

And therefore, I’m excited to launch… Me.

Crista Dawn, an authentic imperfect human, who wants to capture life in words that resonate with others.  A mother who struggles to make all the right choices, but learns from the stumbles. A friend who has a village behind her, with a crazy plan in front of her. A woman whose strength comes from knowing that she is worthy of love, and that peace comes from deep within.

Please join Me on this journey, which is sure to have some bumps ahead.

Bring tissues, it is going to get real. Bring cameras, we are definitely going to see some beauty. Bring friends, cuz this shit is so much better when you’ve got someone to lean on.

Come launch Me… with you.

(Follow me on Instagram or Facebook, and come back every week for new musings…)